Ever felt like your life wasn’t making sense? Like you want to yell “Lord, what the HECK are doing?!” If we get real honest, most of us have been there (or maybe still are!). If that’s you or someone you know today, you’ll love this guest post by my friend Karla Hoelscher.
Stuck. Nobody likes being there. In a recent sermon, my husband defined stuck as “the inability to move forward in life because of our unwillingness to give God complete control.”
Those words hit me like a ton of bricks and suddenly, I was back there again, crumbling in despair because my dreams were shattering right before my very eyes. I became that twenty-something year old again. I remember it vividly! It was not the fist time God had tried to get my attention. I’d been a Christian for 7 years, but had been ignoring God for quite some time. It’s not like I woke up one morning and decided I was done with God. It all happened gradually.
I could try to come up with excuses but honestly I was just tired of my routine and wanted something different, something new and exciting! and then…. it happened, so unexpectedly it really seemed surreal.
As I was chatting with a group of college friends I turned around and my eyes met his at a distance. I couldn’t get my eyes off of him! He was the most handsome man I had ever seen in my entire life!!!
I felt embarrassed. I was so mesmerized, it was as if a GQ model had escaped from the magazine and appeared right in front of me. I was so nervous! Luckily, he felt the same and not only smiled but began to walk toward me.
I could write pages and pages about my wonderful memories with this man, but it is irrelevant. What matters is that during our dating and engagement, my world became him. My priorities changed I quit hanging around my Christian friends, going to church and attending my college bible group. I loved him more than I loved myself, but he didn’t know or love God.
A few weeks before our Big Day, God woke me up in the middle of the night. In his infinite grace he was not ready to give up on me. I was startled but not afraid. And I heard him say: “Karla, Karla.” As soon as I opened my eyes he said, “You don’t belong here.”
“What do you mean Lord?” I protested. “He is an awesome man, he loves me and he is the only man in my life who has not disappointed me!”
He reminded me he knew me and my needs, that he was my Good Shepherd (see John 10:14-15), and then came the big blow: “You need to leave him.”
I burst into tears and continued to struggle all night. The next morning I finally relented. “Okay Lord,” I said, “I will do as you said but you’re going to have to help me. And I hope you know what you’re doing!”
A couple of days later my Fiancé took me out to dinner to one of my favorite restaurants. When he picked me up I sensed something was bothering him. After dinner, we took a walk by the harbor and it was then that he had the courage to tell me his mind. He said he had changed his mind about our agreement that I could teach our future children about Christianity.
I instantly thought “Lord, this is my queue.” And with God’s strength, I replied, “I can’t marry you. We are done!”
The following weeks, months – even years – were the most painful and difficult years of my life. But I decided to partner with God. He took control of my life little by little and I was able to get back on track. Over time I saw how His infinite grace rescued me, even from my own self!
I had no idea his plan for me was in ministry and marrying my husband, Ken, who had been a Pastor for nearly 15 years when I met him.
I don’t know what your battle is today, but Jesus does. His infinite grace is waiting for you. Would you please give Him a chance? I promise you He won’t disappoint!
Karla Hoelscher is mom to 2 teens (boy and girl) and 1 tween boy. She’s a pastor’s wife, church-planter, and Spanish interpreter and translator for Women of Faith. She loves sushi, Greek food, traveling, learning about different cultures and sharing life with her family and close friends. Connect with Karla via Carmel Mountain Church or on their Facebook page.