Rekindling the Fighter in You

Do you feel like you've been settling for less lately? {Image credit: pixelbliss / 123RF Stock Photo}

Do you feel like you’ve been settling for less lately? {Image credit: pixelbliss / 123RF Stock Photo}

You are not a quitter. Neither am I.

So why are we quitting?

  • Why are we letting things we don’t want creep in to our lives and routines? Why are we always so tired?
  • Why are we OK tossing our too-small favorite jeans in the giveaway pile, rather than make the effort to fit back in to them?
  • Why do we gloss over those uncomfortable, but necessary conversations with a friend or spouse?
  • Why are we feeling trapped with our kids? (And I know we do sometimes, because I’m reading articles this week about how much more fulfilling life is for a woman without them).

We’re quitting, ladies.

Let’s stop it.

Let’s find that inner fight again. Press in to the issues that are breaking our hearts and breaking our spirits, and fight back with all the God-given oomph we’ve got.

And when I say fight, I mean the good one. The one Paul talks of in 2 Timothy 4:7 – the “kalos” fight–the vibrant, magnificent, admirable fight.*

How do we fight the “good fight”?

Find our battalion.

We can’t do this alone, and when we try, we’ll get picked off by the snipers of life—the troubles, challenges and stressors. We need to have a small group of fellow soldiers with a common goal who can provide emotional and spiritual cover fire for us in order to survive the battles.

While I was at She Speaks a few weeks ago, I unwittingly found two brave women facing similar issues as I have in their marriage to men with ADHD. We found in each other a troop who can help each of us hold the line of healthy boundaries and choices, and who can cheer each other on when the battles arise. We can remind each other of the good things in our marriages, and give each other a good, swift kick in the pants when we start to feel sorry for ourselves.

Make–and follow–a battle plan.

Soldiers don’t just rush in to battles with no idea how to fight, no weapons, and no ultimate objective. They don’t run toward the enemy just hoping it will all turn out well. No, they have a battle plan. And they execute it as planned. We need to have a plan for those areas that we’ve been quitting lately. We need to know what we want to accomplish, by when, and with what tools. A goal that isn’t defined is just wishful thinking, and wishful thinking hasn’t won any noteworthy battles in history.

Advance toward the objective.

Don’t overthink it—second-guessing ourselves on the battlefield can be fatal. Once we’ve got a trustworthy battalion and a decent plan (notice I didn’t say perfect plan, because no battle unfolds as expected, and no plan is ever truly complete), we move forward. We advance, advance, advance. One step at a time, no matter how small the steps, as long as they are moving toward the goal. Keep using healthy boundaries with that relationship. Keep following the eating plan. Keep using the good parenting techniques.

No matter if the daily battles are won or lost, keep moving toward the objective and look toward the end of the bigger war for inspiration.

Whatever you do, don’t give up. Follow Winston Churchill’s famous words, and

Never, never, never quit.

Because you are worth keeping up the good fight, friend. You really are.

To ponder: Where have you been quitting lately? What can you do today to turn the tide of that battle, even if only a little?


*Definition of the Greek word kalos. Blue Letter Bible Lexicon Results.

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  1. Jennifer Hallmark says

    I appreciate the honesty in the email I received yesterday saying this article wasn’t honest. I’ve been enjoying your articles, but when I received this one a few days ago, I read a few words, then deleted it. I thought to myself, “I can’t take anyone telling me don’t quit when I lost my bff to cancer last week.” After the funeral, my thoughts were to quit writing and going back to being a reader only; it’s much easier. But I know there is a purpose as I prepare for a writer’s conference next week…I did read your zombie article, though I don’t do zombies 🙂 and found it encouraging…

    • says

      And… it was actually my newsletter email that I was talking about. But I think this one reveals the same “dishonesty” of not sharing where I’m at, but trying to press on, press on, press on. Which none of us needs when we’re laying on life’s road, run over by a bus. So, thanks again for grace. 🙂