Our Bible study leader asked the group to write a psalm (letter) to God recently. I couldn’t think of anything right then since I was in my customary Friday night semi-vegetative state. But the next day, I was thinking about the exercise of writing out my words to God. I used to do it almost every day in my journal throughout high school and college, but since then haven’t cultivated alot of contemplation time. I miss it. So I spent a little while talking to God and writing about my day.
These types of musings are very personal and I don’t usually share them. However, because this one represents a very “normal” mom day for me, I wanted to publish it for the sake of being vulnerable and letting other moms hear from my heart.
Thank you for today.
You are my strength and you have met me
in every moment.
Even when I felt like yelling at my oldest –
you helped me hold my tongue
and hang on to your peace.
As my toddler threw a tantrum,
I could still hear your kind voice in my heart –
how do you do that when life is so noisy around me?
I flipped when my 5 year-old spilled milk the second time.
I was wrong there, and I am sorry.
When my husband came home, I snapped at him
What I really wanted to do was melt into his arms.
I’m sorry for that too.
The whole day could have gone like that, but instead
When I got discouraged, you gave me hope.
When I failed, you gave me another chance.
When I felt alone, you prompted my friend to call.
When I felt tired, you helped me sit with the kids
(instead of wolfing down that huge cookie).
No matter what I see as I look back on my day,
You helped me to be courageous and consistent.
You filled my home with your love.
You’re growing me as a mom.
You’re building up our family.
Right now, I am tired.
My eyes are heavy and I long for sleep
where I find rest in your arms.
Every night is a refuge and gift from you.
Even if I end up awake with one of the kids before dawn.
Tomorrow I know you will be waiting for me
and loving me as only you can.
That makes it all worth it.