Losing My Bag(gage) on Vacation

It’s quiet here. So very, wonderfully quiet. I’m away at my mom’s, my kids still at home with hubby. And I’m just starting to relax after 2 days. As I walked the neighborhood this morning, I did what I’ve done often recently and took inventory of myself. How I feel, what I see around me – the smells, the sunshine, the warm Arizona summer air. I noticed my shoulders were still tense like they were when I left home a few days ago. And I realized that I brought my struggle with me.

It’s the curse of parenting special needs kids. That no matter what I’m doing, their issues cling to my heart – partly because I long so much for them to be whole and unfettered by the conditions that chip away at their joy. Partly because as a constant caregiver, I struggle with being more of a caretaker, and I take burdens off them that do not belong in my hands at all.

I read a familiar story this morning – of one asking his friends to help him feed a large crowd with very little resources.

And I realized that in the story, he never asked the friends to do the miracle-work at all! He just asked them to have the crowd sit down while he did amazing things with what little resources were present.

As I sat and read those words, I noticed my heart lifting. I have been trying to do the miracle work in my family since my kids ended school for the summer. And I’ve been heavy-hearted even with the restfulness of being away because I’m still somehow trying to do this, 500 miles away from home!

I still have a full day of quiet left for the trip. I choose to release my need to make everything right in my children’s lives. To walk away from it this moment. And to pick less of it up again when I step off the airplane and re-enter my role as “therapeutic mom” tomorrow. Even picturing this baggage-drop lifts my spirit, and gives me new joy to be the parent I long to be.

What are you carrying right now that’s weighing you down? What would it look like if you released it?

-Laurie

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Comments

  1. says

    Oh, Laurie, this just grabs my heart and squeezes. So hard to let go when it involves our babies. Bless you in this surrender, friend. Sit down and watch Him do the work. Wow. That preaches.

  2. says

    Good analogy. Travel baggage with emotional baggage. I'll think of that the next time I travel. What a great exercise to visualize your mental baggage leaving you with the loss of the weight of your physical bags (as you hand them to the flight attendant)

    I'll file this one away for later….