If You Give a Moose a Muffin

“If you give a moose a muffin, chances are he’ll want some jam to go with it. So you’ll bring out some of your mother’s homemade blackberry jam. When he’s finished eating the muffin, he’ll want another. And another. And another. When they’re all gone, he’ll ask you to make more. You’ll have to go to the store to get some muffin mix. He’ll want to go with you. When he opens the door and feels how chilly it is, he’ll ask to borrow a sweater…” (from If You Give a Moose a Muffin, by Laura Numeroff)

This is why Christmas vacation is tiring for me. I was wondering, 10 days into my kids’ break from school, why I was feeling like a frazzled mess. Then, while reading this to my 2 year old, I realized it’s because I’ve spent every day giving moose muffins! Of course it looks more like:

If I give a child a bowl of cereal, chances are she’ll want some fruit to go with it. While I’m cutting the fruit, chances are she’ll spill the cereal under the table. So while I’m pulling sticky pieces of Kix off the floor, my daughter will get up and go potty. While she’s there, she’ll unroll the entire roll of toilet paper. When I’m helping her roll it back on, chances are I’ll find the missing soap bottle behind the potty. And when I pick it up, I’ll discover a puddle of soap on the floor, which explains why we have to fill up the soap so often. And while I’m cleaning up the puddle, chances are my daughter will head back to the table and start eating her fruit. And while she’s doing that, she’ll want to put all her grapes in her glass of milk. And as she lifts it, giggling, to show me, she’ll launch it across the dining room. And while I’m running for a towel to clean it up…

And that is only ONE of my four children.

You get the picture.

So that’s why I’m looking forward to at least a few of my moose going back to school next week. It’s been a fun and memorable and silly and wonderful holiday, but mommy needs a vacation from their vacation!

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