If You Can’t See The Silver Lining Yet

“Pain can be endured and defeated only if it is embraced. Denied or feared, it grows.” – Dean Koontz {Image credit: kmiragaya / 123RF Stock Photo}

For all the talking and drama consoling in my house of little women, I’m still amazed at how much emotion bottles inside them. It builds and builds, and before you know it, “BOOM!” Somebody’s favorite shoes are accidentally-on-purpose fed to the dog. 

My girls do it. My friends do it. I do it.

No matter how adept we are at managing stressful situations and relational hurts, inevitably, a few slip by unnoticed and start to fester like last month’s milk stain in our car. 

Which is why I’m so glad to have today’s guest, Cindi McMenamin, sharing on her book, When a Woman Overcomes Life’s Hurts. A national speaker and author of multiple books, Cindi shares her tried-and-true tips for moving past hurts and having joy again.

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Thanks for being with us today, Cindi. Please share a little about you and your family.

I have been ministering to women for the past 25 years as a pastor’s wife, director of women’s ministries, and a teacher of God’s Word. I live in San Diego County, where my husband pastors Valley Bible Church and my 20-year-old daughter, is our Sunday morning worship leader. My daughter is now almost finished with college and she and I are writing a book together called When a Mom Inspires Her Daughter: Understanding and Affirming Her Identity and Her Dreams.


Your book, When a Woman Overcomes Life’s Hurts, meets readers right in their brokenness. What led you to write it?

Every person who has walked Planet Earth has been wounded. As I’ve worked with women, I’ve discovered there are two ways we tend to respond:

  • We get hurt, continue to feel hurt and continue to hurt others; or
  • We get hurt, surrender that hurt to God, and become a blessing and encouragement to others.

In this book I help women uncover the wounds that are still eating at their hearts — sometimes wounds like “This wasn’t supposed to happen,” “Why did I have to hurt like this?” and “Where was God anyway?” Then I help them unravel the lies by looking at the truth of Who God is, in light of the pain they’ve experienced; and then I help them unveil a new heart by surrendering that pain to God so He can redeem it into their purpose, and transform their lives into something beautiful.

What’s been your biggest challenge to overcome life’s hurts?

I had to learn, at 19 years old, through the breakup of my family, that God’s ways are higher than my ways and His purposes are greater than my own (Isaiah 55:8-11). Tough lesson! Once I began to see that, I was able to surrender to Him my pain and start looking for the ways He wants to redeem it and bring something beautiful out of what was bitter. It’s a lifelong process! Hurts don’t only happen once or twice in life. We go through pain and difficulties often. So surrendering and praising Him in the pain has become a part of life, as well.

What do you hope for women to get from your book?

I hope women will begin to see their purpose, which has come from their pain. That they’ll no longer be a wounded woman, but a warrior woman, who is willing to go back into the battle — to the places where she was once hurt — and help others find the healing with which God has healed her.

If you could give a bit of advice to women wondering “what’s the point?” of their suffering, what would it be?

It’s not as important that we understand why the hurt is happening, but it’s essential that we trust the One who loves us, who is allowing the hurt to happen. God wants to mold us, shape us and conform us to the likeness of Christ. And He often chooses suffering in order to do that in our lives.

I finally realized, a few years ago, that God can accomplish far more with a little bit of my pain, than I can accomplish with a lifetime of pleasure.

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Find Cindi McMenamin at her website (Strength for the Soul), where you can take her free self-assessment test to determine if you have unresolved issues in your life that would be helped through an individual or group study of this book. Also find her on her Facebook page, or on her author page at Amazon.

GIVEAWAY DETAILS: Cindi offered a wonderful gift for my readers here and at Moms Together! Comment on this post or at Moms Together by Nov 20 @ 11 p.m. PT to enter to win either When A Woman Overcomes Life’s Hurts or When Women Walk Alone.

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Comments

  1. says

    Love how you said this “Once I began to see that, I was able to surrender to Him my pain and
    start looking for the ways He wants to redeem it and bring something
    beautiful out of what was bitter. It’s a lifelong process!” I’ve discovered this to be true in my own life too. Great truth!

  2. Tricia says

    To know or come to realize that God is there through everything is sometimes a difficult thing, and to give up the human nature of trying to fix everything. Last year, my husband went through 2 difficult cancer surgeries and though people said they were there for us, when it came down to it was only words spoken not truly sincere. We learned to turn everything over to God through the help of people we met during it, it helped. But there are always those emotions, that you don’t know how to deal with. So great there is a book out there for people to get encouragement from. Never could find a book last yr in the religious bookstore that quite caught my eye and drew me too it after reading the summary.

    • says

      Tricia, I’m sorry to hear about your husband, and the hurts from the community that his situation brought. I think you’ll like Cindi’s simple, helpful message.

    • says

      Tricia, It’s good to know that — although people will always let us down — God never will. Praying you’ll be encouraged, knowing He has your life and your husband’s in His capable, loving hands.

  3. says

    I agree with Melinda, I loved that statement. When you realize the why isn’t as important as the faith in the One who is in control is, that is when you can move forward. God is the same yesterday, today, and forever…He is our constant. The world is a mess and He knows it but that doesn’t change His undying truths…sometimes easier said than done 🙁 Thank you for this precious post, well timed.

  4. says

    This statement really stood out to me …”It’s not as important that we understand why the hurt is happening, but it’s essential that we trust the One who loves us, who is allowing the hurt to happen. God wants to mold us, shape us and conform us to the likeness of Christ. And He often chooses suffering in order to do that in our lives.”

    I’m having a really difficult time right now and find myself wanting to understand. It’s obvious that I need to ponder these words and let them sink in.

    I would love to read the book. It feels like life has knocked me down and I’m having difficulty getting up and moving forward.

    • says

      That statement really impacted me, too. To be able to put what little energy we’ve got into trusting Him instead of trying to figure out “why” makes so much sense!