What do you want in life? I mean really want. That desire that, if you stopped to think about it, might physically ache – you want it that badly.
Yesterday, as I made a radical change in the care for one of my daughters after years of interventions, my ache nearly ran me off the road. It came out of nowhere. This weeping. These blinding tears. A heart broken.
But also a heart freed. I didn’t realize it, but the dream was dying inside me until this decision and change was made. This dream for a family with children facing normal lives of ups and downs. I had stopped asking for better out of life. I was on autopilot, running on fumes.
Dreams can’t live on autopilot. Day after day, they beg for our attention, for some kind of action.
After a while we either attempt to get what we want or stuff the desire so far down inside that we lose a piece of ourselves. And then, the numbness comes.
Numbness looks like lots of things…
Ceased prayers for a friend who’s been sick for a while
Lost hope about a change in a situation
Empty feelings when someone we know is hurting
Boredom in the midst of busyness
Letting go of the numbness means making a change. Change is hard. But losing part of you is a death no grief can heal.
What dream is begging for your attention? What hope is hanging on inside you, maybe so quietly – so deep down – that you almost don’t hear it’s voice?
Will you take hold of that dream, that hope, and choose to let it grow inside you again?