God still heals. Even when you’ve given up.

I’ve sat on this couch just about all week long. Well, except the parts where I was sleeping upstairs or moaning to my husband about how cruddy I feel. The flu and I are not good friends, you see. I hate fevers, chills, and feeling like an invalid. And so I’ve been quite a good little whiner about it.

In between moaning practice, however, I observed something miraculous:

God really does heal people.

I know this because my oft-volatile 8 year old has been my Florence Nightingale this week. Every morning she checked to see if I needed help, and every day after school she sat with me, held my hand and stroked my forehead. She even helped with dinner tonight!

This from a child whose hobby until recently has been melting down at stores and while doing homework. Whose early life in foster care left her deeply troubled and often dangerous to herself and others because of broken attachments.

I have spent thousands of hours working with her at home, hundreds of hours in counseling, dozens troubleshooting behaviors with schools and family friends …countless moments in tears.

I think at some point I decided that I’d still ask God to heal her completely, but that maybe that wasn’t what He thought was best for her. I didn’t understand. I didn’t particularly like it. But I found ways to make peace with it and somehow move on. And off I went, doing things like speaking, writing and helping other people find joy and wholeness, grieving that I could not help my own daughter do the same.

Then, this week, I wasn’t doing much moving-on (or moving) at all, and as I sat still and observed life in my home as a near-outsider (Dayquil will do that to you!) I realized that N wasn’t just getting better, she was just better, period.

She noticed the needs of her younger sisters. She handled the dog with ease instead of obvious anxiety. She offered me help. And thanked people for things. Ideas and feelings that, until recently, only came out in stomps and screaming, found words – intuitive, profound words. Things like “I think my resolution this year is to stop being afraid when I read out loud in class.” Which, even as I write it now, brings tears to my eyes and stops my breath. That my little girl, who was so disconnected from the planet and so emotionally delayed, could come up with that ON HER OWN, changes my entire view of my family. And of my God.

He really does still heal people.

It doesn’t come when we want. Or look like we want. But be certain, the healing is there. And it keeps coming. It’s not over in my daughter’s life, that’s for sure. With her diagnosis of bipolar and ADHD, and her history of attachment disorder, she’s sure to face some hiccups along the way in life. It won’t take away the significance of this moment. And it won’t make it any less precious to me

Take it from this mom, who thought she was cautiously optimistic, but who, in reality, had greatly lost hope.

He really does still heal.

“Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.” -Malachai 3:10

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Comments

  1. says

    Laurie,

    I never visited your blog before but I am so glad I did, sometimes when we give up is when we see the true power of God's healing because when we give up we make room for God to work. loved your post.

  2. says

    Wow Laurie, I just love this post. You gave me hope for the things I want to see God heal in my son too. It is easy to lose hope sometimes when God doesn't show up in just the way I want. Thanks for the encouragement!

    You are a fantastic writer too by the way. I can hear your voice, as if we were chatting over coffee… And if we didn't live so far away, I'd love to have you over for a cup!

    Blessings!

    Kari

  3. Beth B says

    Laurie,

    i just wanted to shar that I've been thinking about your post since yesterday. I am so happy for your blessing! I was also thinking of some of my own trials of waiting and wonder if maybe God really waits for that moment when we've just about given up to “open the floodgates.” At least for me, when thinks happen at the very last minute, when I fell like I just couldn't have coped for one more minute, I really see God in it. So happy for your blessings! Get yourself a bucket — there's surely more to come 🙂

    ~Beth

  4. says

    This brought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful moment. I am believing that God is healing my daughter as well and I am seeing it everyday. Thanks for keeping me encouraged and for glorifying the Lord for His blessings. YOU are precious!

  5. Beth B says

    That's awesome! I don't know what else to say…except I hope you are really feeling better, because I am looking forward to your talk on Wednesday. 🙂

  6. says

    There's nothing like a seeing others suffer to make us get our focus off of ourselves and our insecurities and live up to our full potential. This may be what your daughter experienced this week. What a blessing for you both!

  7. says

    My eyes are filled with tears and my heart is welling up with joy that you can see how far N has come and how well God heals and to think you were a major hand in the process. thanks so much for sharing so openly these many years!!!! Blessings and Love, Helen

  8. says

    Wow! This is beautiful. Love this “It doesn’t come when we want. Or look like we want. But be certain, the healing is there. And it keeps coming.' So very true. Thanks so much for sharing!

  9. says

    Love this post – and the image you found to put with it, Laurie!

    I believe the things you did to help your daughter DID contribute to her healing – it doesn't come in the way we think, either. 😉

    I hope you can remain realistic in knowing there will be relapses (normal to all child development). With this experience, I'm wondering if your daughter might need someone or something to care for – ? A pet? Or have more responsibility in the home – ? Just my thoughts. Hope you are well soon!
    Barbara