Breaking Through the Wall of Perfectionism

Perfectionism takes many forms. {Image credit: kgtoh / 123RF Stock Photo}

My preschooler holds my hand as she walks atop the short wall bordering the sidewalk on the way home from school. Up ahead, a stroller leans against this wall, it’s owner helping her kids in to their car close by. We approach the stroller, I release my daughter’s hand to walk 2 steps around it…

And that’s when it happens.

This other mom, a flurry of activity, rushes to move the stroller out of my way, apologizing, “I’m sorry, let me move that.”

Wow, she’s wound up tight, I judge think to myself. Can we really take care of our kids, place our strollers perfectly AND make sure other moms aren’t potentially inconvenienced, too? Doesn’t that seem a bit much?”

I try to encourage her. Smiling, I comment, “No problem. My kids never get into their seats that easily! Good job, mama!”

See how perfectly I handled the situation?

Oh, wait. Did I just say that? Is there really a “perfect” way that could have been handled? Well, I suppose a perfect good coach would help the other mom see the situation from a different perspective…

But what about that self-deprecating comment I made about my own kids—about how (not) good a job I’m doing in that area as a mama?

Bugger. I’m doing the same thing she did!

Know what’s the worst part?? We. ALL. Do. This! This crazy, “I need to be flawless, skinny, gorgeous, right, encouraging, happy perfect” dance of death with our psyches. And we wonder why half the planet is on antidepressants?

It’s time to break through the wall of perfectionism, people.

But… how?

We break through with support.

Who in your life loves you for YOU? The messy, nutty, make-up free, quirky you? How can you interact with them more consistently? What could you do today to take a teensy-weensy new step out of your comfort zone with them and into a deeper relationship of trust and honesty?

That last question has lingered in my mind over the past month since I read The Shack and realized what a relational lightweight I’d become in my adulthood. Daily, I’ve been sharing a little more of my internal journey with my closest friend, my husband. I’m lingering a little longer at his side in the evenings instead of getting lost in my writing projects. Know what? I’m rediscovering what a gem that man is! Wise, a good listener, somehow miraculously unable to hold a grudge (even if I give him good reasons to do so), and his eyes twinkle when he sees my bigger-than-I’d-like-to-be body.

We’ve all got somebody in our lives who loves us more than we think they should. And we need to let them a little closer to break through our wall of perfectionism.

We break through with truth.

The truth that there IS a perfect version of you, but you won’t see her until heaven. Oh, you see her occasionally now, when the Spirit shines through and you have those fully-alive moments. Moments when you realize “perfect you” doesn’t look like others who seem to define perfection…

Perfect you looks like YOU—fully, joyfully living the unique strengths and quirks God wove into your life from the start.

This is a truth I’m thrilled to see shared in an upcoming book. No More Perfect Moms, by Jill Savage of Hearts At Home releases in a few weeks, and it’s going to be a great resource for all of us moms needing a breakthrough in our perfectionist struggle.

As a member of her launch team, I’m excited to share a few fun launch extras that you can grab as a reader here:

Whether you avail yourself of Jill’s great resources, invest in that accepting relationship, or some other strategy, would you take a moment to look perfectionism in the face and let it know it’s days are numbered? Together, let’s break through that wall of perfectionism in 2013!


As a member of Jill’s launch team, I’ve been provided with a copy of No More Perfect Moms to review. All views I’ve shared here are my own.

Also linking up with The Happy Wives Club today:
Why I Love My Husband




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