Are You Really Living? {5 Questions to Discover God’s Best for You}


You were meant for more in this life. {Image credit: warrengoldswain /}

Are you being who you were meant to be in life?

It may seem like an esoteric question, but it’s not. God wants us to live fully for Him, and that means being fully who He equipped and gifted us to be. Daily. Even though we’re moms. Even though about a thousand things vie for our attention and energy every day.

Because that’s how we’ll actually know the abundant life God longs to give us.

As a coach I love observing how people be who they’re meant to be in daily life. My kids’ Principal is one of those people. I love how he not only encourages academics but emphasizes character in his Friday morning assemblies. Every week he highlights people who’ve revealed compassion, honesty, civility, and perseverance, and encourages all of us – the whole community – to stretch and grow in these areas.

What about you? Who were you meant to be? Perhaps you can answer that instantly.

Maybe you know you’re an encourager, a game-changer, a strategist, or a connecter of people or ideas. Or maybe you (like me some days) struggle to get in that shower or even remember your own name.

Wherever you find yourself, here are a few questions to get focused on the you that wants to shine bright in God’s design and giftings.

  1. If I could wave a magic wand and life would be awesome, how would it be different than right now? Sincerely and honestly, what would be different or feel different? How would you act, think or respond different? What God-inspired dream would you pursue? Really let yourself imagine this scenario and write down key words or images that come to mind.
  2. What is one thing I could do today to move toward this vision? We’re not made to ponder without moving forward. So how could we step – even tiptoe – toward that awesome life we envision? “For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead.” – James 2:26
  3. Who can help me start or continue moving in that direction? What friends can we enlist to bolster our resolve, and support us in the doubts and changes that growth brings? Who can bring resources, wisdom or humor to bear in this pursuit?
  4. Which of my personal characteristics can help me right now? Change means doing something different, and that brings growing pains. But as a dear friend reminded me recently, we can always take what we know about ourselves (and God) into the unknown. So what do you know about you? What are you good at? What will be easy for you in taking that next step? Lean in to that!
  5. Do I have any unfinished business that needs finishing? Nobody knows our design and giftings better than the one who knit us together in the womb. Has He given direction or put a call on your heart – even years ago – that remains unfulfilled? Perhaps it’s time to go back to that last known step in your journey and see what God would do as you finish what you started.


Going through this process once may not lead you fully to God’s best life for you. It takes a willingness to do this until you find the diamond in the rough stuff of life. So don’t get discouraged. Set a date on your phone, laptop or paper calendar to review these once a month. Sit with the family and ask them the same things. Ask your children who they see in you, what they like most about you, and to pray with you about this process.

Don’t let another day go by without taking a moment to ponder these questions. And, if they seem just plain overwhelming, can I give you a gift to help?


Leave a comment below, answering any one of the 5 questions above and be entered to win a FREE MONTH OF COACHING. Let’s dig in together and help you get on track with God’s best for your life!

Giveaway winner will be announced and emailed (so be sure to include your email as you register to comment) on August 26 at 12 p.m. PT.




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  1. Bea says

    How would life be different – I wouldn’t be so wound up all the time. One push away from an explosion. I would be a nicer mum to be around, and could ignore the whining and distract my son’s attention and make our family home more joyful. I would also start volunteering again. I feel redundant (though I work) because I don’t feel like I’m giving back anymore. Being a mother isn’t enough, I want myself back. (I know that sounds selfish, but I want an identity around him, that doesn’t only involve him).

    I would also take more me time, to refuel my engine inorder to make this possible.

    I’m sure that once I feel less angry at the world, I could work more efficiently. Raise a happier child, be a better working mother and then go onto the mentoring programme that I would like to start in the next 5 years.

    • says

      It’s not selfish, Bea. Our kids need us to get ourselves back, too! Sounds like you thrive on investing in things that matter to you and to the world. You’ve got such beautiful goals here. What’s the one that you want more than any of them? Could you commit to take a teeny step in that direction… just so you can get that confidence and energy back?

  2. says

    thank you. สิ่งที่ร่วมกันสานฝัน เพื่อความหยั่งยืนของมวลโลกในจักรวาล

  3. Tammy K. says

    Hmmm, wave a magic wand—I would like to not thinks it’s selfish to care for me and start pursuing some of my dreams and goals without lack of confidence or guilt. I want to pour myself into my writing.

    • says

      Just read something that might speak to this today. (And I know what you mean. I think it’s pretty common as women especially to feel like this).

      deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

      Our deepest fear is that we
      are powerful beyond measure.

      It is our light, not our darkness

      That most
      frightens us.

      We ask ourselves

      Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented,

      Actually, who are you not to be?

      You are a child of God.

      Your playing small

      Does not serve the world.

      There’s nothing enlightened
      about shrinking

      So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

      are all meant to shine,

      As children do.

      We were born to make manifest

      glory of God that is within us.

      It’s not just in some of us;

      It’s in everyone.

      And as we let our own light shine,

      We unconsciously give other people permission
      to do the same.

      As we’re liberated from our own fear,

      Our presence automatically
      liberates others.
      – Marianne Williamson

  4. Jenny says

    If I could wave a magic wand, I would have an endless amount of energy everyday. Often times when the house isn’t completely spotless, dinner wasn’t much of a success, or I just can’t stay up on the laundry, i not only feel like a failure, but these feelings seem to deplete my energy supply! With an extremely active 2 year old and a 7 year old / 2nd grader, I need all the energy I can get. One step to feeling better about my life, would be to figure out a better system to keep the house cleaned, laundry done, etc. If only there were more hours in a day.

  5. Kelli says

    #1 – Hands down, I would be more organized. I feel so incredibly blessed with family, friends, and ministry – but sometimes feel overwhelmed, tired, and a lack of joy.

  6. Kelly Schmidt says

    Ah Laurie, you seem to have a gift for writing these posts that convict me so much! I am in the last months of finishing my dissertation (FINALLY!) so if I could wave the magic wand that’s what I would want – my paper done and me graduated and ready to move on. During all of the interviews I conducted to collect data for my dissertation (102 of them!) I realized how much I love talking to parents of little ones about their children, sharing information about development and strategies for helping to promote it, parenting tips, etc. It feels like my calling and I want to figure out how to do that and get paid to do it. When I was finishing my M.Ed. many years ago my job in early intervention just seemed to fall into my lap so I am trusting that God will once again lead me to exactly the place I am supposed to be. It’s the waiting that’s so hard! Blessings to you 🙂

    • says

      You crack me up, Kelly! I’m glad you enjoy the convicting. 🙂 And you have to be so proud of yourself for getting to the final stages. That’s huge!! Praying God would give peace in the waiting for that next step – that amazing fit He’s prepping you for!

  7. Helen Tisdale says

    My goal/dream is to have a blog. Question # 5 about unfinished business would be to get my finances together, as I would need to invest money in this endeavor. I really don’t know any details regarding blogging.

  8. Sheila says

    If I could wave a magic wand, my life would be different in that I would more positively influence my family and friends. I spend so much time complaining (even subtly) about how I’m treated at home or how I feel, that I am handicapped from being the encourager that I should be. My own feelings get in the way of truly helping or loving others.

    • says

      “More positively influence my family”: what a great goal. How would that look, practically? Would it change how often you connect? How you respond? The ways you reach out to family? A big, beautiful goal like this can get overwhelming if it’s not pulled into the practical, simple daily steps.

  9. says

    My passion has always been to write. I am doing that, but I need to write with more confidence and on a consistent basis, following my heart and not getting discouraged when the results are not what I want right away.