4 Ways to Help a Friend Pursue Their Dream

“I have a dream!” 

Martin Luther made that line famous, but we’ve all got them. The dream he shared was, of course, not something conjured by his sleeping mind. It was a dream for real life around him. A dream in which he played a significant role. One that would change his life and the lives of others as it made an impact on the world forever.

You might have dreams like that. Or perhaps that you did… and life changed things over time. Whatever the journey you’re on with your own dreams, chances are good that you know someone who’s got a great big oversized dream. Something that keeps them up at night and brings a smile to their face when they talk about it. Something they want to make, do or become… and they’re willing to break through barriers to do it.

How can you best help a friend pursue their dream?

Allow her to share it with you. 
Have you ever noticed that you can’t make a dreamer stop dreaming? It’s like they’re wired that way. Constantly thinking of ideas and ways to change, improve, make a bigger impact in some area that matters to them. Do you welcome the dreamers in your life, or must they speak only in practical terms with you? Will you give them space to dream with you? To take the risk to share that part of their heart and mind… in emotional safety?

Ask her how you can support her dream.
Just asking how you can support the dream gives validity and respect for that creative part of her. I did this with my husband recently. A hobby pianist for years, he decided to learn how to create keyboard tracks and effects. Through our conversation, we set up times when I’d watch the kids so he could tinker, and we decided on a routine that would allow him to play with the worship team at our church. By asking him, he knew I valued his dream… that we were in this together.

Give support in ways she best receives it.
This speaks to love languages. Does your friend feel loved and supported when you affirm her with words? Would it be clearer to her if you did something to make following her dream easier? Does she feel supported through a big hug after reaching that important milestone in the pursuit? Be a detective with your friend. Take the time to know how you can most effectively support them as they follow their heart longing.

Reconnect him with the dream when life’s demands fade it. 
It’s said that “a friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.”* We all have times when we lose touch with our dreams or the callings we’ve known with certainty in moments past. When life piles on top of us and dilutes the thing we love and want most. You’ve likely had (or wished you did!) a friend who came alongside you to help you find that heart-song again. Will you be that one for your friend today through recalling the ways the dream began, found confirmation, and has grown through time?

As we help others pursue their dreams, we come alive ourselves.

How will you help your friend (or spouse or child) toward their dream today?


What if the dreamer is you? I’d love to support you in clarifying and cultivating your dream! Click here to discover how coaching can help you, or email me for more information.

*From the Pioneer Girls Guide Handbook

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  1. says

    You are so right about love languages. While I might want to be listened to as I endlessly chatter to my husband about new thoughts and ideas, he wants to be shown w/hugs that I notice and care about him. So simple, but it really helps us to move forward in our days and dreams when someone we loves connects and encourages. When I don't feel supported by someone I realize I'm not understanding how they show support and how it doesn't match my love language. That helps me to be more forgiving and more communicative. Thanks for a wonderful, thoughtful post!